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| | |Lesson 3 | |Win-Win Conflict Resolution | |Introduction | |In Lesson 3 you will learn another communication skill that in conjunction with Empathic Listening and I Message will help you | |establish positive relationships with students, parents, colleagues, friends and family members. This skill is Win-Win Conflict | |Resolution. |Win-Win Conflict Resolution (Win-Win) is a democratic approach to resolve the conflicting needs of teachers and students in a | |manner in which the needs of both parties are satisfactorily met. (Gordon 1974; Covey 1989) | |Lesson Objectives/Outcomes | |At the end of the lesson you will: | |Be able to explain what is meant by Win-Win conflict resolution. |Be able to recognize situations where Win-Win is and is not being used. | |Use Win-Win conflict resolution correctly. | |Assignments for Lesson Three | |After reading the material on the Study Guide and going over the review, complete the following exercises: | |Practice Exercise: Identify which of the scripts presented in the Study Guide reflect the use of Win-Win and which don’t. |Exercise 3-A: | |a) Prepare a script (dialogue format) in which Win-Win is not used correctly. | |b) Redo the previous script using Win-Win correctly. Write a brief reflection on the differences between both scripts. 5 | |points) | |Exercise 3-B: Prepare and deliver a script (dialogue format) using Win-Win. Write a brief reflection on its delivery and | |effect. (5 points). Post Exercises in the Discussions area. |Example of a Work Plan | |Lesson | |Assignment | |Points | |Completion Date | | | | 3 | |Read Study Guide and go over the review questions. | | | | | | | | |Complete the Practice Exercise | | | | | | | | | |Write Win-Win Exercise 3-A and reflection | |5 | | | | | | | |Write Win-Win Exercise 3-B and reflection | |5 | | | | | | | |Bring Exercises to class on | | | |Due: June 6 | | | |Study Guide for Lesson Three | |Read the material that follows and complete the Practice Exercise and Exercises 3-A and 3-B. | |What is Win-Win Conflict Resolution? When the needs of students and teachers are not met, a conflict exists.
Regardless how well| |organized a classroom is, how cooperatively the rules might have been designed, or how smoothly things run, sooner or later | |conflicts between the needs of teacher and students will occur. Conflicts are not necessarily bad. They are the result of | |individual differences and preferences and provide opportunities to learn how to live in a diverse society. Unless conflicts are| |satisfactorily resolved, the socio-emotional climate of the classroom will suffer. | |Examples of conflicts between teacher and students are: | |The teacher is planning a field trip and the students don’t like her choice. |The teacher needs the students to pay attention, but the students find the activity very boring. | |The teacher likes to have projects neatly presented, and a student has illegible handwriting. | |According to Gordon (1974), teachers solve conflicts in the classroom by following three possible approaches: 1) Win-Lose; 2) | |Lose-Win; and 3) Win-Win. In classrooms where the teacher usually wins and the students lose, it is easy to predict that | |students will be less eager to work, resentful, in need of close supervision, and lacking initiative. In cases where the | |students consistently win and the teacher loses, the students will become selfish and increasingly demanding.
When both the | |teacher and students win, the students become more motivated, care for the teacher, more learning takes place, and the teacher | |enjoys working with the students. | |How to prepare a Win-Win Conflict Resolution session. How is the “Win-Win” approach carried out? When the needs of the teacher | |conflict with the needs of the students, the teacher: | |Communicates his/her needs to the students. (I Message) | |Listens to the students to understand their needs. (Empathic Listening) | |Asks the students to come up with possible solutions. (Brainstorming) | |Agrees with the students on a mutually satisfying solution. Win-Win) | | | | | |Example of Win-Win: | |Teacher (1): I can’t get my work done with this group while your group talks so loudly. | |Student (2): Well, you asked us to plan our project. We can’t do it without talking. | |Teacher (3): I see, you need to plan your project. | |Student (4): We have to finish up with the study questions today. | |Teacher (5): I guess we both are under pressure to finish our tasks. | |Student (6): Yeah. | |Teacher (7): Do you have any ideas about how to solve this problem so we all win? | |Student (8): Well, our group could work in the conference room. It is empty this period. | |Teacher (9): That would solve our problem. Would you need to use the room tomorrow? | |Student (10): I don’t think so.
We will finish today. | |(Based on an example from T. E. T. Teacher Effectiveness Training) | |Classroom conflicts may be seen as opportunities to help students solve problems, learn to make good choices, and become | |responsible for the events in their classroom. The win-win conversation is carried out in a context of parity, at an | |adult-to-adult level. When students participate in Win-Win conflict resolution, they are likely to develop a sense of ownership | |and increased motivation. Many teachers have found this approach to work well with more serious discipline situations.
Students | |who are not responding to logical consequences are at times receptive to a win-win conversation in which power is absent and the| |teacher relates to them, in private, as a reasonable adult. | |Practice Exercise | |In this practice exercise, three conflict resolution scripts are presented (Scripts A, B, and C). Identify which of the scripts | |reflect the use of Win-Win conflict resolution and which don’t, and briefly explain the reasons for your choices. | |Script A | |Teacher (1): Maria, when you are late, you miss the instructions and I have to repeat them later. |Student (2): I am in the yearbook staff and we are really busy meeting the deadlines. | |Teacher (3): I know you are one of the editors, but this social studies class is important too. | |Student (4): I am acing all the tests. What’s so hard about repeating the instructions? | |Teacher (5): I didn’t mind for a while, but from now on you are on time or don’t come. | |Student (6): But… | |Teacher (7): No buts! If you want to pass the class, get here on time like everyone else. | |Student (8): All right! I’ll try. | |(Based on an example from T. E. T.
Teacher Effectiveness Training) | | | | | | | |Script B | |Teacher (1): Maria, when you are late, you miss the instructions and I have to repeat them later. | |Student (2): I am in the yearbook staff and we are really busy meeting the deadlines. |Teacher (3): I know you are one of the editors, but this social studies class is important too. | |Student (4): I don’t have to take your section. I can switch to Ms. Mora’s section. | |Teacher (5): Her section is full. This is the small class. You won’t be able to switch. | |Student (6): She will take me and won’t hassle me about coming late a few minutes. | |Teacher (7): I don’t want you to transfer to another section. | |Student (8): If you get uptight about this, I will have to change. I am not late every day anyway. | |Teacher (9): Okay, Okay. If you have to be late, I just hope that it is not everyday. | |(Based on example from T. E. T.
Teacher Effectiveness Training) | |Script C | |Teacher (1): Maria, when you are late, you miss the instructions and I have to repeat them later. | |Student (2): I am in the yearbook staff and we are really busy meeting the deadlines. | |Teacher (3): I know you are one of the editors, but this social studies class is important too. | |Student (4): Your class is important, but the Yearbook job lasts only a few weeks. | |Teacher (5): You mean that being late to my class is something temporary. | |Student (6): Yes. By the end of next week we should be finished and I’ll be on time. | |Teacher (7): The problem will be solved by the end of next week. | |Student (8): Yes.
In the meantime, I will ask Jane to tape record the instructions for me. | |Teacher (9): That would solve the problem. | |Student (10): Great! Thanks. | |(Based on an example from T. E. T. Teacher Effectiveness Training) | |Answer Key | |Script A is Win-Lose conflict resolution. The teacher wins and the student loses. | |Script B is a Lose-Win conflict resolution. The teacher loses and the student wins. | |Script C is a Win-Win conflict resolution. Both teacher and student are satisfied with the proposed solution. |Exercise 3-A | |In Exercise 3-A you are asked to a) Prepare a script (dialogue format) in which Win-Win is not used correctly; b) Redo the | |previous script using Win-Win correctly; and write a brief reflection on the differences between both scripts. (5 points) | | | |Remember how the “Win-Win” approach is carried out: 1) you communicate your needs to the other person; 2) You listen to the | |other person to understand his/her needs; 3) You ask the other person to come up with possible solutions; and 4) You both agree | |on a mutually satisfying solution. |Incorrect Win-Win | |Parent (1): You must stop making so much noise. I can’t get my school work done. | |Daughter (2): Well, you suggested I invite my friends here to work on our speech project. | |Parent (3): But I never said that it was ok to be noisy. | |Daughter (4): We have to videotape the skit today. | |Parent (5): I know you are under pressure, but I need for you and your friends to be quiet. | |Daughter (6): It is difficult to be quiet while preparing a skit. | |Parent (7): You better figure out how to do it. | |Daughter (8): I guess we could tape the skit in the garage although it is not as good a place. | |Parent (9): That will take care of the noise. |Correct Win-Win | |Parent (1): I can’t get my school work done while you and your friends talk so loudly. | |Daughter (2): Well, you suggested I invite them here to work on our speech project. | |Parent (3): I see, you need to prepare your skit. | |Daughter (4): We have to videotape the skit today. | |Parent (5): I guess we both are under pressure. | |Daughter (6): Yeah. | |Parent (7): Do you have any ideas about how to solve this problem? | |Daughter (8): Well, we could practice in the garage until we are ready to come in and tape. | |Parent (9): That would take care of the noise for a while. | |Daughter (10): I think so. We will finish in another hour. |Reflection | |The incorrect Win-Win dialogue turns out to be a Win-Lose situation. The parent wins and the daughter loses. The parent decides | |what is going to be done. The daughter has to acquiesce. Win-Lose conflict resolution tends to produce resentment and “pay | |back. ” The correct Win-Win dialogue seeks an equitable solution in which parent and daughter have their needs satisfactorily | |met. It fosters responsibility, respect, and caring. | |Exercise 3-B | |In Exercise 3-B you are asked to prepare and deliver a script (dialogue format) using Win-Win and to write a brief reflection on| |its delivery and how it was received. 5 points) Example of a message and reflection: | |Win-Win | |Mother (1): You came home after your curfew last night and I was worried. | |Daughter (2): Well, the traffic in the international bridge was unbelievable and I couldn’t call. | |Mother (3): I see… you were not able to use your cell phone while in the Mexican side. | |Daughter (4): I should have called you as soon as we reached the American side of the bridge. | |Mother (5): That would have taken away at least a half hour of worry. | |Daughter (6): Sorry. | |Mother (7): Do you have any ideas about how to solve this problem next time? |Daughter (8): I will check on the radio forecast before crossing the bridge and allow more time. | |Mother (9): That would take care of the problem. | |Reflection | |This was a win-win conflict resolution. Both mother and daughter won. The mother shared her worry (I Message) and listened to | |the daughter’s reason for being late (Empathic Listening). The daughter took responsibility for her actions and found a | |solution to the situation that was satisfactory to both parties. The exchange between mother and daughter reflected mutual | |caring and respect.
A situation that could have turned into a fight, became an opportunity to build further trust… | |Closure | |Empathic Listening, I Message and Win-Win conflict resolution can make a great impact in your personal and professional life. | |Both at home and at work, little by little – because it takes years – you can become a person who tries to understand what | |others are saying and feeling, who discloses to others his needs and feelings, and who seeks win-win solutions to the daily | |conflicts of life… I highly recommend these three skills. | |Have a nice day… or evening. | |References | |Covey, Stephen R. (1989), The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Simon & Schuster. | |Gordon, Thomas (1974), T. E. T. Teacher Effectiveness Training, New York : David McKay Company, Inc. |