By learning the kills you need for successful conflict resolution, you can keep your personal and professional relationships strong and growing. The fundamentals of conflict resolution Conflict arises from differences. It occurs whenever people disagree over thee r values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. Sometimes these differences look trivial, but when a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal and relational need is at the core of the problem-??a need to feel safe and secure, a need to feel respected and valued , or a need for greater closeness and intimacy.
Recognizing and resolving conflicting needs f you are out of touch with your feelings or so stressed that you can only pay attention to a limited number of emotions, you won’t be able to understand your own need s. If you don’t understand your devastated needs, you will have a hard time communicating with others and staying in touch with what is really troubling you. For example, couples often argue about petty differences-??the way she hangs the towels, the way he parts his hair-??rather than what is really bothering them.
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In personal relationships, a lack of understanding about differing needs can r slut in distance, arguments, and breakups. In workplace conflicts, differing needs are often at the heart of bitter disputes. When you can recognize the legitimacy Of conflicting needs and beck mom willing to examine them in an environment of compassionate understanding, it opens pathways to creative problem solving, team building, and improved relationships. When you resolve e conflict and disagreement quickly and pain less, mutual trust will flourish.
Successful conflict resolution depends on your ability to: Manage stress while remaining alert and calm. By staying calm, you can occur tell read and interpret verbal and nonverbal communication. Control your emotions and behavior. When you’re in control four emotions , you can communicate your needs without threatening, frightening, or punishing other Pay attention to the feelings being expressed as well as the spoken words of others. ; Be aware of and respectful of differences.
By avoiding disrespectful words and actions, ; you can resolve the problem faster. Healthy and unhealthy ways of managing and resolving conflict Conflict triggers strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment t, and discomfort. When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause irreparable rifts, resents .NET, and break ups. But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it increases our understand ding of one another, builds trust, and strengthens our relationship bonds.
Unhealthy responses to conflict are characterized by: An inability to recognize and respond to matters of great importance to the at her person Explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions The withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming and fear of abandonment The expectation of bad outcomes The fear and avoidance of conflict Healthy responses to conflict are characterized by: The capacity to recognize and respond to important matters A readiness to forgive and forget The ability to seek compromise and avoid punishing A belief that resolution can support the interests and needs of both parties Four key conflict resolution skills The ability to successfully manage and resolve conflict depends on four key sky ills.
Together, these four skills form a fifth skill that is greater than the sum of its parts: the a ability to take inflict in stride and resolve differences in ways that build trust and confidence Conflict resolution skill 1: Quickly relieve stress The capacity to remain relaxed and focused in tense situations is a vital aspect of conflict resolution. If you don’t know how to stay centered and in control Of yourself, y o may become emotionally overwhelmed in challenging situations. The best way to rapidly a ND reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. But each pee arson responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you Conflict resolution skill 2: Recognize and manage your emotions. Emotional awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others. If you don’t know you feel or why you feel that way, you won’t be able to communicate effective lay or smooth over disagreements.
Although knowing your own feelings may seem simple, many people ignore or try to sedate strong emotions like anger, sadness, and fear. But your ability to handle conflict depends on being connected to these feelings. If you’re afraid of strong emote eons or if you insist n finding solutions that are strictly rational, your ability to face and resolve did preferences will be impaired. Conflict resolution skill 3: Improve your nonverbal communication skills The most important information exchanged during conflicts and arguments is often communicated nonverbally. Nonverbal communication includes eye contact, f call expression, tone of voice, posture, touch, and gestures.
When you’re in the middle of a co inflict, paying close attention to the other person’s nonverbal signals may help you figure o UT what the other person is really eying, respond in a way that builds trust, and get to the root of the problem. Simply nonverbal signals such as a calm tone of voice, a reassuring touch, or a concerned facial expression can go a long way toward defusing a heated exchange. Conflict resolution skill 4: Use humor and play to deal with challenges You can avoid many confrontations and resolve arguments and disagreement s by communicating in a playful or humorous way. Humor can help you say things that might otherwise be difficult to express without creating a flap.