When Nana talked poorly Of Jail, “She never dared to say to Nana how much she disliked her talking this way about Jail. ” (AS). Though Miriam preferred her father who always seemed to appreciate Maria’s presence, Miriam always sought the approval of her mother and was willing to do almost anything to gain her approval. “Once, to please Nana, Miriam even yelled at Mussing (one of Jail’s sons), told him he had a mouth shaped like a lizards ass… ” (p. 14). However, though Nana constantly told Miriam she blamed her for her rubble life, and showed her unappreciative for Miriam regularly, Miriam continued to be devoted to both her parents.
Once, “She spent the night outside Jail’s house. ” (p. 34). She was waiting to go watch Pinochle at the cinema with him as he promised, but was unaware at the time, that he had lied about taking her to see it as to not hurt her. And, at Nana’s complaining of the labor she endured at Maria’s birth, all Miriam did was apologize for having brought Nana such bother. “It did not occur to young Miriam to ponder the unfairness of apologizing for the manner of her own birth. ” (p. 1 1). Though Miriam was neglected by both parents, still she remained a dutiful, devoted girl, always hoping to one day be accepted by both her parents.
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However, the feelings of devotion and dutifulness was replaced with newer traits such as resentment and fear from the abuses endured later in her life. She finally realized, after being married off to Rehashed, a stranger from Kabul, after living with her father due to Nana’s traumatic death, her father’s true feelings towards her; that he was ashamed of her and kept the fact of her being his daughter hidden due to that. A feeling of resentment bubbled up inside her, and at Jail’s promise to visit her and her new husband often, she said, “No. No. Don’t come. I wont see you. Don’t you come. Don’t want to hear from you.
Ever. Ever. ” (p. 55). And after many years of playing the role of a dutiful wife, the arrival of Leila, whom Rehashed took in and married, the fire of resentment was fueled further. After Rehashed and Laic’s marriage, Miriam told Leila; “l wouldn’t have fed you and washed you and nursed you if I’d known you were going to turn around and steal my husband. ” (p. 226). That resentment was paired also with the fear she lived with constantly while ender Rasher’s care. After the many miscarriages Miriam had, Rehashed grew angry and resentful towards her, and resorted to relieving his anger through violence.
Miriam dreaded the sound of him coming home in the evening… There was always some minor thing that would infuriate him, because no matter what she did to please him, no matter how thoroughly she submitted to his wants and demands, it wasn’t enough. ” (p. 99). “All these years and still she shivered with fright when he was like this, sneering, tightening the belt around his fist, the creaking of the leather, the glint in his bloodshot eyes. (p. 240). Even through the abuse of her husband, still Miriam struggled to gain a sense of acceptance, of love. However, none had ever shown her any such thing… Hat is until Leila finally opened up Maria’s heart. Finally, with the support and comfort brought to Miriam through Laic’s friendship, and from Laic’s firstborn Aziza, Miriam finally felt loved and was able to grow into the strong woman she died as. At Assize’s open heart toward Miriam, Miriam “marveled at how, after all these years of rattling loose, she had found in this little creature the first true connection in her life of false, ailed connections. ” (p. 252). “Love had never been declared to her so guilelessly, so unreservedly. ” (p. 252). Miriam was beside herself with joy at the thought of being wanted and loved.
When Aziza was sent to the orphanage, Miriam became Laic’s supporting anchor and comfort after that. When Leila would weep over her absence, over smelling Assize’s presence that once was near, Miriam would reassure her, try to convince her to not think, to not regret her decision. “Oh Leila joy. Don’t. What good is this? What good? ‘ (p. 31 9). Maria’s final sacrifice was to save the ones she’d grown to love, the ones who taught her how to after so many years of hurt. Miriam made Leila and the children leave with Atari, Laic’s childhood love, and turned herself in for the murder Of their husband.
She was sentenced to death. “Yet, as she closed her eyes, it was not regret any longer but a sensation of abundant peace that washed over her. ” (p. 370). She finally felt loved and could let go of the regrets, the anger, and the fear that had once controlled her life. She was content with how she lived her life though it was filled with so much pain. She was proud of who she had become, and left the world as someone strong, ND as someone who was loved, knowing that what she was doing was saving the lives of those so dear to her.
As any could see, Miriam went through some drastic changes as a person throughout the book A Thousand Splendid Suns. Once the dutiful, devoted young girl, she became a woman filled with resentment and fear only to end up as the strong, loved woman she died as protecting the ones she loved. Miriam is an inspirational figure in this book, and is an example to all how one can overcome even the greatest of miseries to become a strong, loved person who can be proud to have lived the life they led.