The triad has three important aspects to it and they are as follows: Preparing: Most couples view heir wedding as a culmination off courtship process. But in reality, it is just a beginning. It actually starts a lifelong partnership (Parrot, 2005). Mentors can help engaged and newly married couples cultivate positive habits right from the start, that ill pay off for them may years in the future (Parrot, 2005). This point in the couple’s relationship is a great opportunity for Mentors to help them develop healthy habits that will last forever and prevent a lot Of sorrow and pain in the marriage(Parrot, 2005).
The objective for marriage is not to avoid conflict. If managed correctly, conflict an assist with constructing resilient marriages (Parrot, 2005). Conflict is the cost smart couples pay for a heightening appreciation of closeness (Parrot, 2005). Maximizing is the aspect in mentoring that assist with reinforcing and inspiring established marriages (Parrot, 2005). Many couples have good marriages. But mentors can be of assistance with creating great marriages (Parrot, 2005). The mentor can start out by asking the couple the question of “What would make me a better spouse this week? And have each one to write it down (Parrot, 2005). Proverbs 4:25-26 King James Version (KAVA) says: “25. Let thing eyes look right on, and let thing eyes look straight before thee. 26. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. ” In any marriage there is always going to be some bad decisions. The couple needs to have a purpose or marital mission for their marriage journey (Parrot, 200). The couple needs to comprehend and grasp that God is the only one that can sustain their necessities for their marriage and they just need to love each other with compassion and understanding (Parrot, 2005).
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Empathy will assist the couple with keep their eyes focused on the wonderful Rooney before them (Parrot, 2005). Repairing is the third aspect in the Mentoring triad and the utmost critical (Parrot, 2005). This is when married couples may be in a calamity and perhaps on the threshold of divorce (Parrot, 2005). Couples that have battled demons in their marriages and came out with stronger marriage make great marriage mentors for couple that are looking for repairing their marriage.
If both partners desire to trek amongst the discomfort and antagonism of the shattering events they have done battle with, they can rescue their marriage (Parrot, 2005). With it being addiction, infidelity, or any type of loss in their marriage, they have to be willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild trust in the relationship (Parrot, 2005). One of the fundamentals of being a successful marriage mentor is becoming skilled at being yourself (Parrot, 2005). Which implies being true to you, not attempting “to be someone or something that you are not” (Parrot, 2005).
Just be genuine and learn to be relaxed with yourself (Parrot, 2005). The marriage mentor always needs to learn to roll with the tide by letting the couple you are mentoring to regulate the tempo and route they want to go in (Parrot, 2005). Concrete Response With being a pastors wife, this reading has brought to my mind a few issues that being a pastor’s wife, how people even church member look at us as a family. My husband Dean and I will have been married twenty-five years in April of this year. We feel that we have a great marriage. Nevertheless, we do have arguments, conflicts, and major disagreements.
At the same time, these things do not control who we are. Our daughter Beak has been engaged to a young man for 2 years now that does not share the same family values as our family does. He claims to be a Christian, but he judges her parents based on owe his former pastor and family acted at the church he did attend. This young man did not grow up in a Christian home and his parents did not get married until they already had for five kids of their 10 kids. He has spends quite a lot of time with us as a family and had even went on vacations with us.
He has witnessed arguments and disagreements between me and Dean, and he has also seen how we deal with our conflict right then and there, we don’t walk away from it and most of the time it is over and done within five minutes and we do not bring up again. We will never disrespect each other in any way, even though we are having a disagreement. He has made the comment to our daughter, that the pastor and his family should not be having these conflicts. Because he is comparing us to another pastor, that he only sees his actions on Sunday mornings.
We have told him, that he needs to go on vacation with this family, go spend time at their home and you will see that all pastors are human and yes they do have marital and family disagreements but that does not make them bad people. When our daughter and he have arguments and disagreements, he will walk away and most times, get in his car and leave. In addition, later make our daughter feel like it was all her fault or the disagreement. This has caused Beak to stray away from discussing issues with him, because it is easier for her to just not deal with it.
If this young man would let us mentor him and our daughter, we could help them to strengthen their relationship, but he is so prideful that there is no way he would ever let that happen. We have told our daughter that if they get married anytime soon, their marriage will never last because he is not willing to take responsibility for his actions and change. He has made the comment to me that “there is nothing about him that needs to change, he is fine the way he is. My husband has reached out to this young man tying to be a spiritual mentor to him, because of his young faith, but he wants not part of that either.
He has told our daughter that her parents have too much of an influence on her decisions. We just pray that continue to have an influence on her decisions that she will be making for her married life. Reflection Upon being married to a pastor of a small Baptist church and trying move the congregation forward, how do you help the member see and realize that we have to change the way the church has been doing things for years, because we are not making a difference in lives. We have been at this little church for 2 years and have seen numerous couples come and go.
As the bi- vocational pastor and his wife, we wear many hats and it get very frustrating, when trying to help our church member realize there is no hope for our young married couple and engaged couples outside of God and the church. Nevertheless, the church cannot be judgmental. Totally agree with the authors that if every church in the Unites States could mentor just ID couples, what a major difference we could start seeing in the dynamic of families. The divorce rate would decrease dramatically and families could be families again.
If our true Christ centered churches, would teach and preach what the Word of God says about marriage, dealing with conflict and how to treat our fellowman, our world would be a much better place. I look forward to mentoring young couple, because my greatest desire is to see marriages succeed and thrive in God, because when this happens, families do not split up, and kids have the blessings of both parents loving them in the same home. Action After reading this book, I have come to realize that as a pastor and pastors wife we tend to overlook the couples that already have a good marriage, but can have a great marriage.
I understand that enrichment needs to happen for the church to become healthy, strong and Vibrant in the community and there is a huge need for it. One major thing, that want to work on is helping our my own church family realize and sense the need for individuals and couples to step up in the Lord so as a church we can enrich not just couples lives, but everyone that walks through our church doors. This book has encouraged me to take a step back, refocus on what God wants me to do and start working on a plan to Accomplish the things God wants to do in my life, my life’s calling and in our church life.
Know that when God calls you to do something, he will also equip you to get with whatever you need to get the job done. I have a big fear of failure and I let that be an obstacle in doing what God has called me to do for him. Mark 4:40 (KAVA) says: “40 And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith? ” understand that vulnerability begets vulnerability and if will let God use my fears as opportunities to enter people’s lives at a profound level and become humble, God will use my shortcomings and fears to make a difference in others’ lives. Ephesians 4:1-2 (KAVA) says: “1.
I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, 2. With all lowliness and meekness, with longstanding, forbearing one another in love;” References Parrot Less & Leslie. (2005). The Complete Guide to marriage Mentoring. Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530: Conserved. Retrieved February 201 5 4-MAT Grading Rubric Student Content (75 Points) Points Earned Instructor’s Comments Summary (30 points): Summary is concise, tightly worded, and adequately nonsense,” “tight words,” “in-depth,” insightful “prCICS” of the core concepts of the entire book. At least 400 words.
Concrete Responses (15) points: Get vulnerable! In the teaching style of Jesus, this is a do-it-yourself parable, case study, and/or confession. Relate a personal life experience that this book connected with in your own life. (While reading, what video memory began to roll? ) Relate your story in first person, describing action and quoting sentences you remember hearing or saying. At least 250 words. Reflection (15 points): What new questions or criticisms arise for you in response to what you have read? Begin with questions like, “What would like further information on? ‘ Where do I not agree/strongly agree with the author? R “What bothers me/ excites me about this content? ” Positives and negatives about the book. Short, concise critique-?strengths/weaknesses. Reflection should be based on main ideas of the book, not tangential issues. At least 250 words. Action (15 points): Be precise in summarizing your action steps based on core points of the book. How does the information in the book influence how you are going to continue your own personal growth process? What actions or changes are you going to make in your life as a result of your learning? Description of how main ideas in the book will affect your coaching.
What professional changes will you implement (and share with others)? At least 200 words Writing (15 Points) Instructors Comments Thoughts organized in paragraphs; per current PAP format, each paragraph develops one main idea; paragraphs contain at least 3 sentences Paragraph transitions are present, logical and maintain the flow throughout the paper. The tone is appropriate to the content and assignment. Sentences are well-constructed, complete, clear, and concise. Sentence transitions are present and maintain the flow of thought. Rules of grammar, usage, and punctuation are followed. Spelling is correct. PAP (10 Points)