Chris Britton Liberty University My parents deserve a metal and national recognition for their outstanding performance in raising their first child. I was born in 1992 and my parents, who had been married three years now, were scared to death. Neither of them had ever raised a child, and they had come from very different backgrounds. My father was raised on a small tobacco farm by his mother and his father who was a World War II veteran and my mother was raised in the city by her mother and father who was a dentist.
My mother was raised in a house with maids and her family always had money, while my father was raised in a house where he worked every day after school to try and help his family make ends meet. It is hard for me to believe that these two very different people could come together and do such an excellent Job raising their first child. From an early age my father taught me that hard work paid off and that education was by far more important than any of my extracurricular activities. My mother also taught me the value of education while at the same time instilling me with love and audience for others.
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My family was not perfect, but they have taught me a lot. All of my life they have encouraged hard work, patience, independence, and perseverance. These qualities have been stressed to me from an early age, thus making me a very secure college student today. You may wonder why I have been talking about my parents so much. The reason is that I believe that one’s attachment style is most determined by how they were raised. Thanks to my parents excellent influence I am confident and secure in my allegations with not only my girlfriend, but also my coworkers and my classmates.
I know that with God I have no reason to fear, no reason to mistrust, no reason to avoid conflict, and no reason to overreact. For I know that no matter the circumstance God will work His will for me in my life and the life’s of those around me. God tells us that he wants us to go forth and be a light unto the world for His great name. How would we accomplish such a task if we were not secure within ourselves? God wants us, as Christians to be secure individuals, for if we weren’t we would not stand firm in Him.
An avoiding person would not take a stand for God because they would not want to cause conflict. An ambivalent person would not be able to fully put their trust in God due to their own insecurities. Therefore only a secure person can truly trust in God enough to go out into the world and shine bright with the light of God. Now I am not claiming to be perfect in my attachment style. I do however have one fault. I tend to avoid conflict whenever possible. My mother taught me to love and avoid conflict, this in turn has caused me to at times allow things to go too far and get out of hand.
I will at times find myself giving in a doing things that I do not want to do. For example, every time my girlfriend and I go out to eat she will ask me where I want to pick a place that she did not like. So for the first couple of months I would always reply with “l don’t care”. This has proven to not be the right answer. I being the man in the relationship needed to learn to stand up and make a decision, while going out to eat may be a small decision to make in comparison to future decisions, it is necessary that I am able to make the small decisions in order to be able to make he big ones.
This change was hard for me and I still do struggle with it, but I am getting better and becoming more secure in my attachment style. Not everyone is the same. We all interact differently in relationships. But we as Christians especially need to work on becoming more and more secure in our attachment styles every day. This is accomplished through a lot of patience and prayer, but through this Journey not only will our relationships with one another improve, but our relationship with God will improve also.