SAB 210 April 12, 2010 Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting Reaction Paper I attended an A. A. meeting on April 5, 2010. Before the meeting I seemed very anxious. This was not my first meeting I have been to meetings before but they all seem to make me nervous. When I arrived the nervousness had eased off because everyone had made me feel welcomed. I was made to feel like a part of their family from the beginning to the end of the meeting. I seemed to have realized I missed going to these meetings and I miss the fellowship but it has not interfered with me staying sober.
The meeting began with some readings. I read on the AA Promises which I thought was a waste of time. In my opinion I felt like they should have left the readings for you to read to yourself because the meetings are on a time frame and people seem to have a lot of other important issues to talk about and be concerned with other than reading the same readings every time. The topic of the meeting was on feelings and emotions which I definitely could relate to. As people discussed their emotions and feelings I started feeling sad for some of them.
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I did not realize how much pain these people are in. I could feel their pain as they talked about what was weighing so heavily on their minds. I sat there and thought what I could do to help them. I started to feel a little sorry for some of them because I feel they depend too much on others to keep them from drinking. Don`t get me wrong the support network they have is amazing but only you can do it for yourself. I wanted so bad at times to tell some of these people only you can keep yourself clean. I think some of these people acted like only these meetings could keep them clean.
I do not believe that to be the truth. I felt sorry for one girl because her friend had just committed suicide and she was having a hard time not taking a drink over it but the ones with more recovery time seem to come to her rescue. However, I thought what these people would do without each other and how devastating their lives could be if they did not have one another. I wanted to respond to this girl and help her but I kept quiet and talked with her after the meeting. I felt proud of myself for trying to help her and who knows maybe something I said may have helped her.
I will never know but at least I was able to walk away with a smile on my face. I also sat there wondering how these people sit here talking about alcohol and not want a drink. In my opinion the more you talk about it, the more you would think about it. More time should have been spent on the recovery process and less time on re-living the good old days. I did not like the arrogance that some of the old-timers displayed, as if they were better than the others because they had been sober longer.
I sat thinking every one has the same problem in common and just because you have more recovery time does not give you a right to act like you are better than the next person. That part of the meeting made me lose respect for those acting that way. I wanted so bad to say something to that person but I remained silent. It was painful at times listening to the pain these people were feeling in their hearts. I only wished I had a magic wand and could have made each one of these people better.
In addition to feeling their pain, I felt joy and was happy for them because they were at least trying to work a program to fight their disease which is extremely hard. I know this from experience. Struggling with alcoholism myself this meeting made me realize how far I have come in life and how much stronger I am today. I use to be one of these people in the rooms and I know what they face on a daily basis. These meetings made me want to reach out to everyone there and tell them it will get easier in time. My heart went out to all the people at this meeting.
I could hear the determination they had in their voices. I admired these people for the battle they were fighting. I felt like each one of these people was strong and at least willing to not let this disease destroy them and their lives. However, I was angry as I sat there and listened to what this disease has done to people and how it had ruined their lives. I did sit there in my chair and think how blessed these people were to have each other. In conclusion, I feel A. A. has saved many lives. It offers strength, hope, and support to those struggling with alcoholism. I felt one hour just was not long enough.
I wanted to stay longer and help those in need. The meeting seemed to put me back in touch with reality and had touched my heart. I felt so many different emotions and feelings at this meeting. At one point I became teary-eyed as a young girl spoke of what she had been through. It did make me feel uncomfortable holding a stranger`s hand when we formed the circle but I think by saying the Serenity Prayer it gave each one of them hope, wisdom, and the courage to start a brand new day without the disease eating away at their lives and to replenish their day with a new perspective on life.
I feel this project was an opportunity for me to explore how much I have grown since I was last in the rooms. I was dreading this project from the beginning even though I was once a part of the A. A. family but I felt I wanted to give back what A. A. had given to me which was a chance to show another alcoholic that they can win the battle of alcoholism. This was the first meeting I attended for this semester`s project and I am looking forward to the second meeting in hopes of helping other individuals.