It used to be that most parents didn’t worry that their children would fall into sexual temptation until after they were old enough to drive. I remember when I was a teenager myself. We did discuss sex and sexuality but it never crossed our minds to have sex before getting married. I remember one of our neighbors who got pregnant a couple of months before her wedding and the whole neighborhood spoke about her and how her parents were responsible for all this because they didn’t do a well enough Job raising and instructing her.
But things have changed during the last two or three decades. Sexual temptation has become a very powerful tool in the enemy’s hands which he uses it and through it tempts many men and women especially younger ones. Researchers say that teens are starting to experiment with sexual behaviors years before they obtain a driver’s license. Hayley DiMarco a Christian researcher and the author of Technical Virgin: How Far is Too Far? Has done a research on both inside the church and outside on this issue. l found no difference between Christian kids and non-Christian kids,” “No difference, except that they alked a good show and acted really nice in front of me. “(P. 19). Other recent researches affirm her conclusions. According to researchers at Yale and Columbia University teens pledging virginity until marriage are Just as likely to have STDs as their peers. Other research shows that each day 8,000 teenagers in the United States will become infected with an STD, with more than 3 million teens becoming infected this year alone.
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All these researches done on the subject conform the fact that teens do start having sex way before they get married and sin against our Lord and their Creator. In this paper I will discuss how the world treats this issue, the reasons which make sex and sexuality a good area for the enemy to use it for temptation, and finally, look at it through the lens of Scriptures and how we can help those youth who are in this kind of sinful behavior. Secular View on Sexuality Every morning, soon after I leave home, on my way to work I see this huge billboard which has different advertisements on it.
Most of them are car related since the area is full of car dealers. But what is noticeable is the fact that most of these ads say very ittle -or in most cases nothing- about the vehicle being advertised; instead, there is a picture of a young woman whose half-naked body is the first thing which gets the viewer’s attention. This is the case for most of ads which are viewed either on such billboards or on TV screens. Thanks to technology, this has gone further and now we can view such ads on the internet and even on our hand-held devices. But this doesn’t stop here. The internet has made things so much easier to access.
While the internet has made communication so much faster and easier, it has also become a ery powerful tool which Satan uses for sexual temptations. The point I am trying to get to is the fact that since the early hours of the day till the time we put our heads on the pillow, we are being bombarded by sexual temptations and are being told that world does not see sexual sin a sin anymore and encourages our young generation to careless behaviors when it comes to sexuality. Teens kiss each other on TV programs, they live in single-parent or mixed families, they have sinful relationships with other teens which is being supported and so on.
The music industry also influences our youth in a very negative way. In a rap music album called As Nasty As They Wanna Be the “F” word was used some 226 times, some 117 use of male or female genitalia was used, 87 descriptions of oral sex and 163 “female dog” also could be heard in this album. The list can go on and on. But the question which comes to mind is that why does the world treat sex in such a way? According to a study done by the University of Chicago in 2006 porn industry benefited $13. 3 billion which is more than what CBS, NBC, and ANBC benefited combined. Sexuality has become a great way to make money.
While people behind all these think of their own pockets, Satan thinks of ore ways to break our families and people who support sexual revolution, without realizing are helping Satan accomplish what he has been planning for thousands of years. Planned Parenthood -which is supposedly a non-profit organization- is another advocate of sexual revolution in our society. In California, the age for drinking alcoholic beverages is 21 . To be able to get a driver’s license, one has to be 16. But the age to get an abortion without parent’s consent in California is only 12. How noble is this?!
My daughter who Just turned 13 and is too young to get behind he steering wheel is not too young to decide either to get an abortion or not which is a surgical process. She wouldn’t even need to present her information including her name or her address to do this thanks to Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood is one of the largest organizations which benefits from our societys misery. It provides our youth with birth control pills, condoms, treatments for STDs, and abortion. Its major customers are pimps who bring in girls purchased outside the country who become pregnant and won’t be able to make money for them anymore.
Planned Parenthood also makes a lot of money. Abortion alone brings in about $600 million, they get $106 million in federal subsides, and $200 million in contributions from private. And they still call themselves a “non-profit organization”. Some of the techniques that they use to accomplish their goals have to do with involving those who are too young and even kids. Kids are being introduced to sex and sexuality in very young ages. In an article in Washington Times done by Dr. Robert Weiss states that the average age of first Internet exposure to pornography is 11 years old. 80 of teens between 15 to 17 year olds have had multiple hare-core exposures, and %90 of ids between age 8 and 16 have viewed porn online most of them while doing homework. The way they accomplish this is very creative too. They use fraises which kids would type them in search engines and they link these fraises to porn websites. For instance, if a 7 year old girl types “Cinderella” in a search engine, the result for this search would be linked to porn websites and if she clicked on any of them, she would be exposed to porn automatically. These are Just a token of what we deal with as far as sex and sexual sin is concerned.
Just recently I thought in our Sunday school a four week long lessons about the issue. During these four weeks, I learned that even many of our teens whose parents have been members of our Church over 20 years are in sexual sin and amazingly, they don’t think they are doing anything wrong for over two years. Both of them claim that their parents know that they are dating and they are “0K” with them dating in such young age. Mike claims that they have never had sex -sexual intercourse- and that he is going to make sure that their relationship will stay this way until they get married. Nelly on the other hand, is not so sure.
She shared with me that they have kissed and they have given each other exual satisfaction but she is not so sure that things are going to stay this way since they both have been desired to go further but they have been able to overcome those desires for now. She too, doesn’t feel that they are in sin Just because everyone else is acting the same way and besides, they have never had sexual intercourse like all others who have. This is the way which the world treats sex and sexual behavior. Our teens are being told that the most important thing in their lives should be self satisfaction.
They don’t need to think of the consequences and they can Just become senseless about others and their well beings. Having sex is Just a part of having fun; homosexuality is a normal behavior for those who practice and we need to accept them as they are; and in general, sex is not an important issue and everyone can treat is as he/she desires and there is no right or wrong as far as sexual behavior is concerned. While our youth get so much bad information about sex and sexuality, we as Christians, give them mixed ideas. In his article The Way of the Wise: Teaching Teenagers About Sex Paul David Tripp touches on this issue.
He states: As Christians, we say that sex is a gift from God, yet we are strangely silent on the topic and ncomfortable in the rare instances when it is discussed. We treat this area in a way that is uniquely different from other important areas of life. This leads to a lack of sexual balance, a lack of openness, and a lack of clear, practical sexual education. Sex tends, in other words, to get placed outside the boundaries of the normative Christian world view. Tripp is right. We do send mixed signals when it comes to sex and the result is that our teens are more confused than ever. But let Word of God is not silent on the subject.
In fact, this is so important that Scriptures give us many guidelines and the ays we need to deal with this issue which will be discussed next. God’s View on Sexuality Unlike the mixed message which Church gives about sex and sexuality, the Word of God is clear on the issue. God is the Creator of sex and sexuality and does not condemn the act of sex. In Genesis chapter 1 we read the following: Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created mankind in is own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground. ” God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. (Gen. Bible which discusses sex and sexuality. Again in the book of Song of Songs we read: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth??” for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured ut.
No wonder the young women love you! ” (Songs 1:2-3). These lines show how a wife praises her husband and by doing so loves him in deep and passionate ways. Again in the same book we see how a husband does the same thing to his wife. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.
Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “l will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit. ” May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. May the wine go straight to my beloved, flowing gently over lips and teeth. I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.
Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom??” there I will give you my love. (Song of Songs 7:2-12) All these lines suggest that not only God has nothing against sex and sexual behavior, but He also promotes it and commands us (in Genesis 1) to have sex and multiply in number. So the first point to make when it comes to sex and sexuality is the fact that God created sexuality and encourages us to have sex. But Scriptures say much more on the topic.
There are many dos and don’ts when it comes to sex and sexual behavior nd the result of all these is beneficial to those who follow them. God wants us to have sex only with our spouse; the person whom we promise to spend our entire life. But let us see why God wants us to have sex in a marriage relationship and not before that. In Matthew 22:34-40, Jesus describes the greatest commandments. Jesus makes it clear in this passage what’s behind all the dos and don’ts in the Bible. He is concerned about the quality of our relationships and our ability to express love. This passage clearly shows the importance of love in any relationship.
Our youth can earn from this passage that the quality of a relationship may be measured by how much love we have for the other person. Youth can learn that love, not sex, is the key to vital and fulfilling relationships. In Romans 6:12-20, Paul describes how to offer our bodies to God as instruments of righteousness. But what does it mean to be an instrument of righteousness? Paul suggests that it involves allowing God to direct the actions of our bodies and the thoughts of our minds. He encourages his readers to avoid following the desires of their bodies. Youth can naturally have strong physical desires for sexual intimacy.
But this passage details the importance of letting God help them overcome sexual I will refer to another passage which deals with this issue. In Ephesians Paul describes the morality and lifestyle changes that follow becoming a Christian. As Christians, our love for God and for others is expressed in all we do. All parts of our lives, including our sexuality, must express who we are as God’s people. Teenagers and young adults need to understand that they cannot Just “have sex” without involving the whole person. This passage helps youth to see how to bring all of their actions and choices into alignment with their faith.
So far we have discussed that God created sex and sexuality and He wants us to wait for it until we get married. At this point, I would like to speak about the dangers of playing around and having sex before getting married. As Christians, we need to let our youth to know that sex -in marriage- can be one of the most fulfilling gifts God has given us. It can also be the source of incredible harm. Youth often think, “It can’t happen to me! ” They feel invincible. But they are not. Teens get pregnant. Teens catch sexually transmitted diseases. Teens make wrong decisions with consequences that affect the rest of their lives.
In Genesis 2:15-17 we read: “Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the Garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The LORD God commanded the man, saying, ‘From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die. ” In this passage, God sets limits for Adam in the Garden of Eden. One of the hardest lessons in life is that we cannot do anything we want without the possibility of suffering the consequences. From the beginning, God placed limits on what we could do for our own good.
Some things are too dangerous they may even lead to death. Youth often have a limited perspective on consequences. As they consciously develop their independence, they may have a hard time accepting limits to their freedom. They need to see -as Adam and Eve did- that actions may prompt unavoidable and often negative consequences. Ezekiel 18:26-32 says: When a righteous man turns away from his righteousness, commits iniquity and dies because of it, for his iniquity which he has committed he will die. Again, when a wicked man turns away from his wickedness which he has committed and practices justice and righteousness, he will save his life.
Because he considered and turned away from all his transgressions which he had committed, he shall surely live; he shall not die. But the house of Israel says, ‘The way of the Lord is not right. ‘ Are My ways not right, O house of Israel? Is it not your ways that are not right? “Therefore I will Judge you, O house of Israel, each according to his conduct,” declares the Lord GOD. “Repent and turn away from all your transgressions, so that iniquity may not become a stumbling block to you. Cast away from you all your transgressions which you have committed and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit!
For why will you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone who dies,” declares the Lord GOD. “Therefore, repent and live. ” The author describes how we are responsible for our own actions. The message here is clear. It teaches us that we should not blame others for mistakes we make. God like many older adults, are quick to blame others for their problems. Accepting responsibility for their actions is difficult. Youth need to understand that they do have freedom in Christ but they also must live within limits so they don’t have to live with negative consequences.
In the last part of this paper, I would like to discuss how youth can say no to sexual pressures around them. Half of America’s teenagers are saying no to sex; but what about the other half? The ability to make responsible decisions can be taught and learned. Even kids who have been sexually active can stop. In a culture that glamorizes sex, we need to teach our young people how to be responsible and avoid sexual pressure and we need to give them support for their decision. Let us look at some Scriptures which will help us to say no to sexual temptations.
In Romans 7:14-23 Paul describes his inner struggles. For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.
For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I m doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I Joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. In this passage, Paul lets us know that being a Christian wasn’t easy for him.
He knew what God wanted for his life, but he found it hard to make his behavior match what he knew to be God’s will. Youth can readily identify with Paul’s struggle. By the time they reach senior high, most have learned what is “wrong” and “right” according to the Bible’s teaching. But like Paul, they often have trouble doing what they know God wants. In Rom. 14:1-4 Paul reminds us not to Judge one another’s opinions. Once we know what God’s will is for our lives, we need to grab hold of that knowledge and turn it into practice.
In this passage, Paul simply argues that knowing what is right is not enough. We also need to act aggressively on our convictions. As teens become young adults, they learn integrity. When teens are tempted or pressured to give in to sexual esires they know are wrong, they can follow Paul’s advice and hold fast to what’s right. Paul also warns us not to be deceived. “But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse Jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and Paul reminds the early Christians not to be taken in by false teachings but to discover what God wants for their lives. Teens hear many voices telling them what to do and be. But as Paul encourages in this passage, teens can learn to hear God’s voice above all the others and act of God’s will. The Word of God is not silent on sex and sexuality. It gives us guidance on how to treat sexuality.
It teaches us that God created it and wants us to enjoy sex; it teaches us that sexuality needs to be within a wife and a husband alone; it shows us the dangers of playing around; and it shows us how to say not to sexual temptation and keep ourselves holy for God’s purposes. It is our responsibility as Christian parents and counselors to teach these truths to hose who are either in sexual sin or Just simply want to live a godly life which will glorify our Lord Just as Paul suggests in 1 Cor. 10:31: “Whether, then, you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Let us all make this our first and foremost important goal in our lives. Homework Assignment 1) Read Genesis Songs 1:1-3, and Songs 7:2-12 and answer the following questions: A) What do these passages say about sex and sexuality? B) What is the purpose of sexuality in these passages? C) Taken together, what do these passages say about sex and sexuality? D) Does this surprise you? Why or why not? 2) Read Matthew 22:34-40, Romans 2-20, and Ephesians A) What is the concern expressed in these passages? B) Why is it important?
C) How does it relate to having or not having sex? D) How can having sex hurt another person? E) Many people have fallen into the temptation to follow lust instead of love. According to John 8:1-11, how does Jesus respond to those people? 3) Read Romans 7:14-23. Have you ever felt like Paul did in this passage? If yes, describe that time. 4) In Ephesians 5:1-6, sexual impurity is only one item among many mentioned. How would this passage, as a whole, help you in aking sexual decisions? 5) How might Paul’s guidance in the above passage help you resist sexual pressure? ) Have you ever been pressured to have sex with someone? If yes, were you able to resist the pressure or did you give in? Describe your experience. 7) Read Gen. 2M 5-17 and Ezekiel 18:26-32 and answer the following questions: A) What are the limits God sets for our sexual behavior? B) Why do you think God placed these limits on us? C) Why are some consequences irreversible? D) We live with the consequences of our decisions. But what if we’ve already made mistakes? How should we respond to those who have fallen into sexual sin?
Works Cited DiMarco, Hayley. Technical Virgin: How Far Is Too Far?. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Publishing Group, 2006. Print. Mack, A. Wayne, Johnston, E. Wayne. A Christian Growth and Discipleship Manual. Bemidji, MN: Focus Publication, 1995. Print. Tripp, D. Paul. The way of the Wise: Teaching Teenagers About Sex. The Journal of Biblical Counseling, Vol. 13, #13. Spring of 1995. Article. Elliot, Belinda. Teens and Sex: What parents Need to Know. http://www. cbn. com/family/parenting/ elliott_TechnicalVirgin. aspx , 2011. On line Article.