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Assertiveness is a skill that will help everyone in their everyday communications. It will get you the things that you need without compromising the needs of others. In this journal entry, I will be talking about my usual communication patterns when it comes to assertiveness, I’ll explain what I learned during the in-class assignment, and finally, I’ll give an example of a situation where I needed to use assertiveness and how that turned out. All my life I have been terribly non-assertive. I would describe myself as a pleaser, constantly putting other’s needs ahead of my own.
The way I viewed things was if I try to make myself happy then I’m happy, but if I do things for someone else then they’re happy and they can do something for someone else and they can do something for someone else and so on until everyone’s happy. I do think that with practice though I could be an assertive person. When we practiced assertiveness in class I was a little uncomfortable with the process because the idea of of putting my needs ahead of other’s needs is kind of a new concept for me. I did learn that even though I may be a little uneasy at first, I need this skill because my needs are important too.
I do need to practice the sound byte because it was difficult for me to repeat it while staying on task. I realized that that was true when I tried assertiveness in a real situation. At my apartment all the bills are in my name so I just pay them and have my roommates pay me. One roommate doesn’t always pay me on time though resulting in an overdraft fee when I pay the bill. I sat down with him to try to solve the problem by saying; “James, I really appreciate the trust you have in me to take on the responsibility of the bills.
I’m feeling a little frustrated because I don’t always get your money on time so it leads to an overdraft fee making me feel financially stressed. I’d really like to fix this so it doesn’t lead to any harsh feelings and so I can live more comfortably. What do you think we can do about this? ” To which he responded something along the lines of; I’m sorry but I forget sometimes. There is where I should’ve repeated the sound byte but I just started giving solutions to help him with remembering. The skill did work even though I didn’t do it exactly the way I should.
Jesse did point out that the conversation was a little weird because I don’t normally talk like that. I think that for this reason it would be easier to practice this skill with people I don’t know because they aren’t used to my communication patterns. Now that I know how to be assertive I am looking forward to seeing how it feels to get what I want. I will focus on realizing that my needs are important too and I deserve what I want. The more I practice the more comfortable I’ll feel and who knows, maybe I will be able to save even more money with assertiveness.