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The subject of girl aggression or bullying needs to be more looked upon among girls of any age. Girls are pushed aside as they are thought of going through a “phase” if they spread rumors or shoot dirty looks. Boys draw more attention since they go resolve their problems directly by fighting or even calling someone out. Adults usually go correct their fights and problems to show them it’s not the right way to be. The girls are left alone as they continue picking on each other secretly. Others girls may fight directly too, but this is rarely seen in most schools.
I’ve been observing everyone a little more closely during the last month at school. I’ve overheard girls talking about others; I’ve experienced some of it, and even gave my own comments through the grapevine. It may not seem that way because I’m “shy and nice” during the school hours. Every girl wants to show that “good girl” image so they can be more like-able and have more friends. This really does apply to me since my self-esteem has its ups and downs. I want to be liked so I either avoid conflict or become the peacemaker when necessary.
You don’t want someone to know that you could be the source of a huge war. It could ruin your reputation and cause others to judge you differently. The slightest thing can be misinterpreted to a girl as she is trying to become friends with others in a group. I’m guilty of this after I picked my group for a lab in Food Management. I wanted to be with a friend I knew since I was comfortable talking to her. Yet, she ended up scribbling her name in the last spots for a group with her other friends. I chose the remaining group and was positive that these girls would be nice just like everyone else.
I was completely wrong. I was trying to cook the eggs I was assigned to as I asked questions to certain girl. She was kind of snappy as she told me I should “stop asking for approval. ” Well, I was just making sure this lab was being done properly. She was acting like she knew everything, anyway. Plus, everyone was using my notes. I didn’t reply but she kept terrorizing me about what I seemed to be doing wrong. “Honey, you need to take these out. You’ve cooked them for too long,” or “Do you even know what you’re doing,” kept shooting from her mouth as I checked my notes.
It was really getting to me and I never finished my part of the project. It really did make me upset since I’m picky over my grades. Yet, I have to get over it. I should have ignored her or asked her to be more polite. I’m usually trying to get someone to like me besides getting them angry. It’s all for the image but it tends to destroy me in the end. It’s always important to stand up for yourself. This book has made me decide to be much better reacting to others or even when I’m gossiping from what I’ve heard. I’ve had my days when I found out something about myself that someone totally made up or even disliked about me.
I’m learning to laugh it off or even understand what their problem is. If they’re talking about you, you’ve obviously interested them. You’ve done something that they probably wished they could have done. There’s no reason to have revenge over a few words but to only move on with your life. Every person on this Earth has opinions about somebody because we’re all different in some way. You shouldn’t let anything get you down. It has also made me realize that I need to think twice before talking about others too. I have complained about close friends before but I’ve never thought twice about it.
I wouldn’t want them to hear me if they were close by. I need to be blunt about or just keep my mouth shut. I know I wouldn’t want the same thing to happen to me. I’m sure nobody would want to hear anything about them either. The gossiping and the revenge may be a part of life yet all of us may need a reality check. We need to be more positive toward each instead of worrying about what others are doing. Girls may fight through verbal actions as boy resolve their problems through fighting. They boys may understand the way to get through a problem better than we do.
We need to stand up, call that person out, and resolve the problem you have with them. You don’t need to do it through fighting, but by gentle words of reasoning. You may figure out more to their story than from what you heard. This solution may bring a new outlook as you could be just like them. Now, keep your “enemies” closer than your friends since the enemy may be closer to you than it seems. A girl like you needs to give that person a chance from what’s been going on to them lately. A friendly get together instead of a hateful rumor may create a better view for the both of you and the world.