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This paper is written to propose the advantages and disadvantages of being a single woman as taken from personal experiences and many other referenced sources that have studied the single woman, their ideas, likes and dislikes, and how their singleness has either helped or hampered their life’s accomplishments. Many have said that a single woman is a cursed woman especially if she has never been married and has past the stage of being a childbearing individual. She is then termed as an old maid. This paper will show how many women enjoy the single life and even being without children. Most importantly it will demonstrate how the spiritual single woman is more liberal in paying attention to her God and how she romances Him as if she were romancing her mate as oppose to the carnal single woman who has the mindset of Just being romanced. For the spiritual woman it is a time that allows her to reflect on her God’s promises and to have the necessary time to spend at His feet to adhere to His every word and to learn to minister to Him as He will teach her.
In err learning to minister to God enhances her knowledge of how to be a minister to her husband if she opts to be married some day. As the Apostle Paul has written in I Corinthians 7:34, “the unmarried woman as well as the virgin cares about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman cares about the things of the world and how she may please her husband. ” Furthermore others will argue that the unsaved single woman is all about pleasing herself henceforth forfeiting her opportunity to be a blessing to others as God has ordained.
Introduction A woman’s time of singleness is useful in fulfilling her intended and designed purpose for her life. Her time of singleness allows her to become familiar with herself in an effort to discover who she is and her purpose for life. During her time of singleness she learns where she wants to go, get a sense of directions of where she is going, and become acquainted with her Creator. The single woman is in search of the place where she can begin again to recapture the essence of what was originally intended for her from the beginning of time.
She knows that the original intentions were to live a paradise lifestyle that was originated in the garden of Eden. However the single woman fail to realize that this kind of lifestyle can not be achieved through singleness. The “paradise lifestyle” is meant for two people to enjoy together as one and even an attempt to live and enjoy this kind of life would be futile through singleness because there will always be something missing, an incompleteness, or a void. Women are uniquely relational, created in a most peculiar form, distinctly ascribed with certain intricacies that no other species possess.
She is proportioned in ole is to be a help mate but through singleness she learns to walk in this role first being to her Maker what she is meant to be to her mate. In order to get back to the original ideal of what her life should be, her singleness is carefully navigated by the Originator to steer her to the one who will accompany her to that special place.. However some steps are meant to be taken alone as it is the only way to really know where you want to go and who you want to be a part of that endeavor. The Journey of being single has its pros and cons as we will begin to explore in this paper.
Woman’s Origin Woman may be called man’s antithesis, yet her functions Joined with man’s form a perfect whole, neither being complete without the other, (Swine, 1899 p. 19). The bible declares male and female created He them, (Gene. 1:27). In the beginning upon His completion of all the essentials of the earth God made a man and woman in His own image and likeness, creating them both at the same time but with one only making a debut. The woman was brought forth at some time later. Many are in question as to how this came to be.
We would then have to rightly interpret scripture that says God clearly created them both at some point when man was both male and male with only the male being brought into existence first. The woman yet remained inside of the man until the time of her birth because it was the man that God was most interested in as he is the crown Jewel of God’s creation. Nevertheless the woman as she awaits her debut, was created equally as the man being made also in the image and likeness of God Himself given instructions as well to be fruitful and multiply, replenishing and dominating the earth.
At the appointed time the man was put to sleep while a rib was taken from his side that God then formed the woman rough out of the man which is why it is important to understand that woman was born of man and not man of a woman. She is the composition to the orchestra God has assembled for Himself to bring about the fulfillment of His plan. God in His sovereignty could only relate to the man spiritually being Spirit Himself and felt that man needed to be relational physically also which is why woman was made to help in those areas.
What better person to relate to than the person of yourself, as the woman was taken from his own womb and made the part of himself that he could relate to and with this the man was pleased and declared bone of my bones and less of my flesh. God brought the woman to the man and they became one as in the beginning of their creation. Psychological Characteristics of a Single Woman According to the essentialist perspective, all women share the same psychological characteristics, that are very different from those that all men share, (Maintain, 2012 p. ). Regardless of race, nationality, or culture, all women share that special coded ability to have insight that others don’t usually have. There is much wonder about her craftsmanship. Putting themselves first and a wedding ring second is the new generation of women who want to be left alone. In recent months tidies have shown that at least 17 million women live on their own and that living single is not news but life for them, (Goodliest, 2010 p. 196). We are living through the invention of independent female adulthood, (Goodliest, 2010 p. 6). It is now standard for a woman to spend years on her own to learn, explore, work and earn on her own, women have endeavored to establish themselves outside of marriage that allows her to grow in her own life before trying to fit into someone else’s. A woman often has this faculty highly developed, even when her intellectual abilities have been cramped and distorted by a false system of education, which, apply is fast being superseded by broader and more generous views as to the equal relations of the sexes, (Swine, 1899 p. 2). It is in the hospitable essence of her soul that a man forgets that he is a stranger, and so becomes natural and truthful, at the same time that he is mesmerism’s by all the divine differences in a woman that make her a mystery and a bewilderment, (Swine, 1899 p. 67). The single woman however will never experience the enlightenment of being the nurturing being that she is suppose to be because she is entangled in a web of “doing me and loving it. ” The Single Mom
It has always been said that women should retain their chastity until they have been united with the mate of God’s choice. The time is not when a man looks good and you are attracted to him but when he makes you his wife. King Solomon instructs us to not “arouse or awaken love until it so desires,” (AS 2:b). In today’s society more and more women are becoming mothers before marriage as it is the desire of some while for others it was Just something that happened. Motherhood without marriage is becoming almost commonplace in the United States, (Dickerson, 1995 xiv).
One third of all female-headed families are headed by women who have ever been married, and almost 1 million babies are born out of wedlock each year representing one in every birth, (Dickerson, 1995 xiv). Most often motherhood is usually, attributed to birth outside of wedlock, overlooking marital separation, divorce, widowhood, and formal or informal adoption, (Dickerson, 1995 xiv). As a single mother you will often fill both roles as mother and father taken from personal experiences.
As women advance in age they become more concerned with having a child instead of a man and will often opt for artificial insemination and are embracing single motherhood, (The Huffing Post, 2008). But there are also long- term implications for the woman’s future relationship status. As any single parent knows, it’s more difficult to meet someone once you’re in that situation of being a single parent. Truthfully dating is hard for the single mom as men will label them as a package deal, and have their secret society where there is a handbook for the single woman and the single woman with children, (Spencer, 2009 p. 4). Often men will run away from the package deal not wanting any extra baggage or the responsibility of dealing with another man’s children taken from a personal perspective. The single mom will start to fill that dating is hopeless because she has children and as with myself I waited until all of my children were off to college before dating again and found that it can be hampering still because now the man feels he has to deal with grown-up kids with some being protective of their moms and others having too many issues.
There is a better chance however of dating when a man knows that your children are adults and are capable of taking care of themselves which gives the man a sense of relief. For the man however is that secret fear of you getting back with your children’s father. The Single Woman of Worldly Things asserting her own sufficiency and assumed wisdom, (Washington Newsletter, 1916). She is not subject to the law of God and neither indeed can be, because it makes no sense to her, (Washington Newsletter, 1916). The carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be, (Or. :7). The single woman of worldly things has the mindset, perhaps intentionally or unintentionally, that is in accordance with sensual and worldly desires with grave affections for them, merely and consequently disregarding spiritual things and the things that God requires us o love, (Ripley, 1859 p. 84). For a woman making her mark on the world in this age can be a little puzzling to figure out who they are with confusing ideas and mixed messages that comes from the media, pop culture, and societal standards about who she is suppose to be, (Hale, 2013 p. 7). This in turn poses the risk of the single woman becoming susceptible to the things of the world more than to the things of God. She now searches for her own identity, the power to be successful, and to live a life that she has blueprinted for herself defined in her own domain of thoughts. The bible states that her life is hidden in Christ, and that it is He that gives power to get wealth with a very special plan for her life. Most too often impatience can be a barrier that makes the single woman turn to her own way of doing things.
She chooses not to wait on God and will often find herself fallen prey to hazardous things as she lives inconsistent to the will of God for her life. The Single Woman of Spiritual Things The process of the creation of the woman was different from the creation of the man, and it was covered with a special mystery, (Calories, 2008 p. 38). The woman as created out of the man to support his mission and given as a gift from God, (1 Cord. 11:8), (Calories, 2008 p. 38). The single woman who walks with God begins to unearth the things of God’s as He make known to her what He requires of her.
The whole mission of the single woman is to spend the time with God to know who He is and through that process she learns who she is and what He wants from her. As with Mary, God required that no man touch her until His desire was fulfilled in her, giving birth to His Son. As the single woman advances in her relationship with God she becomes mindful of spiritual things. She learns His Word and hides it within her heart so that she don’t sin against Him. She becomes very sensitive to His voice and heeds to His instructions for her daily life having no problems with obeying His laws and His commands.
She takes on a heart like His and develops the love of God for other people, putting that of others before her own. She rises early in the morning to have fellowship and a time of intimacy with her God while there is peace and quiet and in doing so she is able to hear what words He in turn will say to her. Her hope and confidence is in Him as she waits on Him in expectancy of the things He has remised to her. If she is called to a season of singleness it is for the sole purpose of God to mentor and instruct her in spiritual things.
In that time of singleness she is strengthened to accomplish the things that are destined for her life. She may be looked upon with disgrace, but is happily content in knowing who she is, what she wants, and where she is going. Her God looks on her with His favor and has declared that He is her husband and through her singleness, He will enlarge her territory much more than that of the woman who is married. In this promise is her hope, her u to her pursuit of the things of God and getting lost in those things.
All the days of her single life she dwells in the house of her Lord until He puts another assignment in place. That assignment can be anywhere from taking on a mate and being the helper He designed her to be, to being a mother to motherless children. Whatever the assignment, she eagerly awaits to fulfill the next thing that God has for her. Conclusion In spite of what is said of the single woman” whether she opts to live her life carnally or spiritually, she is God’s most favored design. She carries about within resell certain qualities that God has instilled within her to fulfill His purpose for mankind.
She does not have to choose to be married to have children and it is important to understand that for everything that happens there is a reason. She is designed to give birth whether married or not and society at one time placed much emphasis on this. Living in this modern culture of society, God will even use what we decide to do for His own benefit. The “single woman” loves who she is in her own skin and does not subject herself to criticism but rather does what she finds to be most important in her life.
Being single is not the end but rather the beginning as in this state she will discover who she is, what she wants, where she is going, and who, if any, she wants to go with her. She is not to be counted out as some women feel that they are called to live a life of singleness. References Hale, Andy The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass (2013). Thomas Nelson Nashville, TN Spencer, D. C. , Single Motherhood: The Real Deal (2009). Author House, Bloomington, IN Ripley, Henry J. , The Epistle of the Apostle Paul to the Roman (1859). Sheldon Blackman & Co.