Words: 1813
In presenting this story, what is Harris showing/telling the audience about gay/bisexual men in America? Using the text, discuss what Harris is using these characters to do. In todays world homosexuality is less of a taboo than it was in previous days, as society grows more accepting of the lifestyle of gay men around the world.
Despite the fact, that more and more men are open about who they are and who they love, and that gay marriage is permissible in many states, being openly gay is still especially tough for African American men. African American men fear not only rejection by their family, friends, and church; they are also at risk for rejection, hatred, or violence from a homophobic African American community. This very real fear leads many gay black men go to great lengths to hide their sexual identity and live a life of lies.
Patricia Collins in her 2005 book, Black Sexual Politics: African Americans, Gender and the New Racism, states that, “Today, while there are black men who are openly gay, it seems that the majority of those having sex with men still lead secret lives, products of a black culture that deems masculinity and fatherhood s a black man’s primary responsibility and homosexuality as a white man’s perversion” (Collins).
Given this view, African American men feel they have no choice but to live a “down IoW’ life to avoid Judgment and shunning by family, friends, and society as a whole. E. Lynn Harris writes Invisible Life to shed light onto the down low lifestyle that gay African American men are forced to adopt and the pain that comes with it. Some argue that Invisible Life was written as an expose of African American men for African American women, so that they would know “gay’ when they saw it and void it at all cost.
In many ways, Invisible Life did grow to become a manual for African American women in understanding how men go about living a down low lifestyle, mainly because this was a phenomenon suddenly exposed to the light and no one else was talking about it. Ata time where the internet and social networks were not as prevalent as they are now as an instant way of getting the latest information, many people did not even think that there were a lot of gay black men. Reading this novel enlightens many on the lives that someone they know could be eading; in fact many people begin questioning those around them and their own relationships.
Although Invisible Life does introduce a rarely talked about lifestyle, the goal of the book is not to bash and blame, but to bring an awareness to the struggle and pain that black gay men endure in order to maintain some semblance of happiness, and hopefully help people to understand why they live a life of “deception”. Raymond Tyler, the main character in Invisible Life, is an attractive African American man that was popular in high school, throughout college, and remains a encounter with someone of the same sex. Raymond never questioned his sexuality before, but this one encounter changes his life forever.
Raymond had trouble understanding why he felt this way having never been exposed to gay men. Just like many men, Raymond accepted his feelings, but made no one aware of this new understanding of self. Moving to New York City following law school graduation, allows Raymond to evolve into his new found curiosity and sexuality. Making two new close friends, that are the only people (other than his partners), that are aware of his newfound “bisexuality’, Raymond knows that his family, friends, and society ill have a hard time welcoming him with open arms thus forcing him to begin to lead a life of lies.
A person’s family of origin has a great impact on what they believe, who they become, and how they live their lives. The old adage tells us that “Children learn what they live”. Raymond grew up in a middle class two parent home where high expectations were set. He envisioned his life following college to be similar to that of his parents. He would settle down, get married to the “girl” of his dreams, and raise a family. He never planned on engaging in sexual relationships with men; this was far ff from his life plans.
He was terrified to be upfront with his parents about his bisexuality, especially his father. Michael C. LaSala, the Director of the Master of Social Work program at Rutgers University said, “The world already sees you as less than others. By being gay, you’re further hurting the image of African-American men” (LaSala). This is often the reaction of many family members of African American Gay men after they come out. Since childhood, Raymond had a better relationship with his mother than his father; his father is cold, stern, and did verything by the book.
In the novel, Raymond states, “l knew Pops would take my new sexual orientation as a personal slap in the face against him. That it would cause him a great deal of pain and concern” (Harris 88). Announcing his sexuality would only further trouble Raymond’s already strained relationship with his father. This knowledge was one of the main reasons why he continued to live a life of secrets and lies. His father would never accept him like this, and although an adult, he still desired his father’s love and acceptance.
In society today people will assume that omeone is gay because of the way they dress, their voice, and their mannerisms. Because of Raymond’s appearance, no one would ever suspect that he was gay. Raymond made every effort to behave and live his life in a way that people would not suspect that he was gay; he did not want to face their Judgment and rejection. The novel reads, “Leaders in the black community would have had you believe that you couldn’t be a service to the community and gay too.
The viewed black homosexuals as freaks of nature and felt their career options should be limited to hairdressers and interior decorators” (Harris 220). Raymond knew that being a successful African American man was already uncommon, but to factor in his bisexuality would make things harder for him in the corporate world, and in the African American community. Being “down IoW’ is a comfortable alternative for many African American gay men because that life allows them to avoid the stigmas that come with being gay.
Raymond did not live on the “down IoW’ as a selfish way to have the best of both worlds, yet it did serve to quiet any suspicions about his sexuality. Openly rejecting a attracted to women, he knows that he has a secret that he can never reveal. Having two lovers allows Raymond to have his needs met without having to worry about anyone thinking that he is gay. Raymond found himself having a hard time choosing between the two. The text reads, “l was going to have to make the choice between a man and a woman. For the first time I realized I wanted them both” (Harris 180).
Raymond knows that being with a woman would be an easier life to lead, but also that he would never be able to overcome his longing for other men. Raymond was unhappy despite having two lovers, as he was also constantly tested. Despite his irlfriend Nicole’s lack of suspicions about his sexuality, her line of work as a singer and actress and the continuous propositions that Raymond received from gay men scared him. When out with Nicole Raymond would avoid coming into contact with gay men because he was afraid that he would be “read” by these men and exposed to Nicole.
Nicole invited Raymond to church which soon became routine for Raymond, but it also began to make him question why he could not Just be straight because being gay was a “sin. ” The text reads, “l overheard Nicole tell a friend that since Curtis had become saved, he had given up the homosexual lifestyle. For the first time since my conversion, I wondered if I could change my sexual orientation or at least redirect it” (Harris 175) This is a question that many African American gay black men ask themselves as family, society and the church pressure them to “change their wicked ways”.
Especially in the Christian African American community where people attempt to, “pray the gay away. ” An article reads, “… preachers taught… that if that person would Just turn to the Lord and confess his sin, then God would change him ack into the person He wanted him to be – a person who only had crushes on the opposite sex” (Lemon). Raymond, like so many others, felt this pressure from attending church and being around a Christian woman whose views he respected.
Being gay is seen as a disease and not something that is truly natural and cannot be changed. Society seems to forget that whether one is gay or not they are still human. They have hearts and feelings. So many gay men are afraid to come out to their families and friends because of this and are in turn forced to deal with all of the stigmas that come with being gay alone. As shown in Invisible Life, they may also turn to live a “down IoW’ lifestyle to protect themselves from the hate.
This way of life that is chosen as a coping mechanism to avoid the problems and shame that comes with being openly gay. Still, the trouble of maintaining such a secret can be emotionally challenging for anyone. Through Raymond Tyler, Harris’s Invisible Life gives insight into how and why gay men resort to this lifestyle. It is not a manual for women to find out if their men are “down low’, but a look into the lives of someone who could be ones family or friend and the struggles that they experience being African American and gay.
It was written to help one understand how hard it is to live life as a happily gay men because society is so hateful and Judgmental. It was written to open the eyes to the homophobic African American community that may even be afraid to be seen reading this book. Invisible Life is a story of the invisible lies that the African American community is forcing gay men to tell. It is also a plea to change the way in which gay African American men are viewed;