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Illustration assignment We all often wonder why addicts do the things they do. We don’t understand why they, leave their families. Or even more than that why they put their drug of choice before anything else in their lives. We also wonder what their thinking process is. Most importantly we wonder if there is a cure for this disease, and if treatment really helps. As a recovering addicts, and a longtime member of NA; I know that talking to people about your problems and what’s going on in your life at that moment helps.
NA teaches us to pick up the phone and ask for help when we are struggling. This is the only treatment that has helped me. Prison and rehab did not. Throughout my recovery, I have learned that, there is not a cure for this disease. It is painful for everyone around us. We obsess over the smallest things. When in the beginning, that’s what started our addiction; obsession. As our disease increased, we would obsess over how we were going to get the money to get it. Then we would obsess over where we could find the drug. Once we had it then the cycle started all over again.
This was the routine we had. Once in treatment this was the hardest thing to break. Some of us addicts would start obsessing over other things. Kind of like, O. C. D. Some had to watch a movie at a certain time or make a phone call at the exact same time, every day. This disease is not a joke. It is very serious. Some of us lost our families. I lost my daughter when she was 9mts old. My brother had got temporary custody when I went to jail. Once I was released, I couldn’t stay clean long enough to pass a drug test. I felt horrible because I was a junkie. I couldn’t change any of it.
I wanted to be a good mom, daughter, sister and friend. This addiction had its claws on me and wouldn’t let go. My parents had completely wiped their hands of me when I lost my daughter. No one in my family wanted to be around me either. This is when I hit my bottom. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I went to my parents and told them I wanted to go to rehab. They didn’t want to spend the money for me to go, because I had been once before and it didn’t do any good. I finally convinced them that I was ready to go and I was really going to try this time.
Once I got to rehab I applied myself. I read from the AA big book and the NA book almost the whole time I was there. This is where most of my education on this disease came from. I was not the only person with this disease. There was help if I wanted it. That’s what I decided to do. I got help. Once I was out of rehab, I knew the first thing I would have to do was not contact any of my old friends. I had to stay away from places I use to hang out at. Most importantly I would have to go to NA meetings. This was a big change for me.
I knew that this was my last chance before I ended up dead somewhere. The more active I got in NA, the better I felt. Listening to others like me, made me feel like I wasn’t alone. There were others like me. This disease had taken control of other people as well. Looking back I am so thankful for the choices I made. Also, for being able to see what addiction was like. It was all very painful, but it taught me a valuable lesson. It has made me who I am today. I wouldn’t change it for anything. I know have my daughter back. Life is great. I’m so thankful and blessed. God is good!